I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
