Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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