she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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