Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
