my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
