i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
