dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
