The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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