physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
