Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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