2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
