Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
