I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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