The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think I sprained my soul last night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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