if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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