I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
