We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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