shes about as inviting as chlamydia
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
