Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
