I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we should paint friendship bongs
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
