She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
