I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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