So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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