So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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