1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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