i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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