This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
