I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
