we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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