was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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