after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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