At least make sure they are 18
Why
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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