I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
