I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
