I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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