no, he came in my armpit
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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