this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
