My nipple is on Facebook.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize