Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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