dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
