In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't turn off my feet"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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