i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
