I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize