Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
