I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize