k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
