I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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