I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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