You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
