Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
