Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
