ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
