lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
