I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
