guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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