if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
