Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We are all done wearing pants today
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
