i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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