He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
