Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm so fucking centered right now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
